This journey of knowledge has been an intense one, to say the least.
For some time, I have been learning about Vedic and Buddhist philosophies and practices. Many years ago, in grad school, the first book that I bought at a constructivist conference was on Buddhist psychology. That said, the knowledge that I have gained over the past years has felt somewhat fragmented. All the fragments are now beginning to come together. Here in India, I am immersed and taught by people who do not just lecture on this vast base of knowledge and practice, they also embody it. With all the years of university I invested, I can say I have learned the most in almost a month from these wise, kind people. They are without pretence. Outside of teaching, they listen more than they talk. There is no image they try to create, they are just themselves. Incredibly wise, kind and full of knowledge. The upper Topovan area of Rishikesh is where you will find the yogis in training, mostly European and North American. “Many ‘hypes’ in the world started here in Rishikesh,” my teacher cautioned. Being a yogi does not imply one is devoid of ego. At this stage of life, I am uninterested in attaching to hypes and images so, it has been easy to engage in new experiences as they arise and be present in how they uniquely feel to me. Some fit and some do not.
I am very aware that the journey of knowledge will never end and requires a balance with living. So, I have been mindful to add a little ‘masala’ to all this hard work.
I’ll give a brief overview of some of the material we have covered over the past three and a half weeks. We start each day learning and practicing mantra chanting in ancient Sanskrit, received by Rishis (sages) in their deepest meditative states. Chanting mantras are thought to be a way of connecting with the knowledge of the cosmos.
We then get knee-deep into yoga philosophy, going beyond what I had learned about the four paths and 8 limbs of yoga. These are part of Patanjali’s (an ancient Sage or Maharishi) Yoga Sutras (thread of knowledge). Yoga’s Sutras are divided into 4 Padas or chapters and contain 195 Sutras. This gives you an idea of how much there is to learn and can’t possibly all be covered in a month of training.
Yoga can be understood as the union of the individual consciousness (jiva) with the universal consciousness (param atman). In addition to learning about the Sutras, we are introduced to various Vedic concepts. The Vedas are among the most ancient sacred texts.
Nikola Tesla, the famed scientist and inventor, studied and was influenced by the ancient Vedic traditions and in doing so looked at science from both an Eastern and Western model. As a therapist, I have found that Western schools of thought can be, at times, limiting. My approach has largely been influenced by Eastern concepts which are becoming more widely recognized in our Western world. It is difficult to make changes to the way we think when so much of how we think becomes a default that we are unaware of. Stilling the mind allows us to bring conscious awareness to that which we desire to change.
One of the Vedic concepts we have learned is Pancha Kosha, which is thought to have originated from Taittiriya Upanishad, a Vedic-era Sanskrit text within Yajurveda. It refers to the 5 sheaths of human consciousness. As we understand and peel back these layers we can find access to our inner potential and therefore access inner bliss.
We explore Ayurveda and concepts such as Pancha Mahabhuta (or five elements) which are composed in both living and non-living materials. As well as the Dosha’s, biological energies, which are made up of the five elements that can easily slip out of balance affecting both our physical and mental health.
Every concept I have mentioned, and others I have not mentioned, has many layers and are explained to us in both English and Sanskrit. We begin at 6 am and finish at 6:30 pm-Monday to Saturday. Somehow I never feel saturated.
We practice Hatha yoga twice a day and have learned various pranayama techniques (part of Patanjali’s 8-fold path consisting of conscious inhalation, retention and exhalation). As part of our training, we practice leading the class in both Hatha Yoga and meditation sessions. Periodically, our asana teacher throws in other types of yoga. Ashtanga, which is far more rigorous, has been difficult for me. That being said, I remind myself that it was developed for teenage boys and this middle-aged woman can easily break a sweat doing laundry. I am easy on myself.
Now let’s discuss meditation. For the past few years, I have been meditating daily. As someone, like many, who has struggled with the monkey mind for most of my life, this has been a journey in itself. My teacher expressed, “When people say meditating is hard, what they really mean is that consistency is hard”. This makes sense. My journey with meditation has been gradual and consistency has made all of the difference. It has had a profound impact on my focus, energy and emotional regulation.
So why do we meditate and what is the common goal of all the concepts described above? These concepts and practices come with benefits to our physical and mental health and overall quality of life, yet it is much more than this. It is said that to achieve the state of higher self we need to still our mind. To still our mind we need to connect with the body without being defined by it. When we identify with both mind and body we create duality (good or bad etc) and that causes suffering. When we master stilling the mind we can access and merge with higher consciousness-Samadhi.
Meditation does not look any one particular way. There are both passive and active meditation (such as dancing or walking) practices. I have struggled with the ones in which I have to remain completely still. Not just still, completely still. At the beginning of training, sitting in one place without moving felt torturous. The first five minutes were some variation of: “I’m sore, I am itchy, is there an ant crawling on my arm? I want to move my leg, this is hard, I’m hungry… but am I hungry or do I just think I’m hungry? …I’m itchy. No Tanya your body is itchy… no… I’M ITCHY… stop… ugh”. With every day that we spend meditating in various practices this chatter or state of Chitta, improves.
This progress culminated the day we ventured to Vashishta Gufa Ashram and caves. Vashishta Gufa is claimed to be the holy abode of Sage Vashistha, one of the seven great sages of ancient India. He and his wife meditated in these caves located on the banks of the Ganges river.
Many saints and sages have come to meditate in the cave over the years as it is considered to be a very powerful spiritual center. We as a group arrived early and sat in Sukhasana/crossed-legged. Although tight, I had no problem focusing and sitting still for our chanting and for the meditation that followed.
From there we ventured nearer to the Ganges, chanting our mantras to the sun.
After this, we went to the cave of Vashistha’s wife, Arundhati.
This cave was significantly smaller and I was the first to enter, leaving me at the very end of the cave sitting with knees touching my teacher, Sandhya’s, knees who sat across from me and my back slightly curved with the rock above me. Two others filled the remaining space and then the others of the group who could not fit in sat outside of the cave blocking the entrance. I need to say that working with stilling my mind was a challenge I took on willingly. Overcoming my fear of small spaces was not part of the program. I regressed to day one; my mind filled with chatter: “I can’t do this. Yes, you can. I can’t get out. I’m trapped, I’m feeling anxious oh god what if I panic?” Finding my breath, I slowly disengaged from my thoughts and my body. My nervous system started to calm and I began to focus. This was a very big feat for me. I completed the remaining meditation with ease. To be clear these exercises are not about pushing oneself to tolerate pain and discomfort like some type of military initiation. Rather, it is intended to stand behind the discomfort and not attach to it. And in doing so, obtain comfort in the discomfort. Isn’t the source of much of our distress in life about things going as we want them to and sitting in the discomfort of this?
We finished the day at the Ganges where one of my group members, Ravi from Varanasi, guided us through the cleansing process of entering the water in respect for the Goddess Ganga.
In Yoga and Ayurveda, there are three Gunas or qualities of energy (Rajas, Tamas and Sattva) that can affect our psychological, emotional and energetic states. The quality of Rajas refers to calmness, goodness and harmony. A quality that has been easy to achieve here, surrounded by daily practices that support it. As Sandhya was lecturing about these qualities of energy and how to achieve them, she used our progress in meditation as an example. I replied, “Then I guess I have to move to India”.
“No”, she replied “You must find the India within you.”
And so, the journey within continues.
Namaste.
